Associating birds with my loved ones that have passed has just always been in my life. I was 12 when my grandfather died. We were inseperable, he was a father to me throughout my entire childhood, and I was completely heartbroken when he died. On the way to the cemetery though, the most personal thing happened to me. A road runner crossed right in front of us, as we neared the cemetery gates. This is a very small cemetery, in the middle of sandy Texas cotton fields, in case you are needing a visual. I didn't think anything of it, other than the fact that we always ran into road runners when the two of us were together. Gathering around his plot, the services started. But I couldn't help but gazing off, through the headstones, not too far away, and there it was. The road runner. He stayed through all of the service, assuring me that he will always be there for me, no matter what. For several months after that, I would always see it, around my house, along the roads as we drove. Eventually it's presence became fewer and fewer, as I healed from his passing. Today, I only see him when he is really needed. When I am in need of being reminded of the powers that are at play around me.
I was 18 when my grandmother passed, and just truly coming into my way as a Pagan. She had been so very, very sick for many years, and it was extremely hard to see my sweet, gentle grandmother suffering. The day she left us, she had gone into the hospital. My parents had gone up there, but told me to stay home until they called for me. I sat at home, pacing the floor, waiting for a phone call I didn't want. After a few hours, I went outside in the shaded space of my backyard. I closed my eyes, and asked the Powers that Be to ease my grandmother's pain and suffering. To help her to cross over and find peace. All was quiet for a bit as I cried and prayed. Then, directly above me, I heard it. A woodpecker. I watched him so intently, he knew I was there, yet he wasn't afraid of me. It wasn't long after, my parents pulled up to tell me the news, but I already knew. The woodpecker had told me. And I felt at peace. I knew she had crossed over gently, and without pain.
I never know when a sign will come, or how it will show itself to me. But when I am in need, and can focus my mind on finding an answer, I am never failed by the Goddess, as long as I keep my heart and mind open to see what I am supposed to.
Our totem animals often reveal themselves too, on a very common basis. I have several, however my primary totem animal is the rabbit. A solid white rabbit visited me in my dreams for several nights in a row. I had quite a lot of hardships going on in my life during that time, but once I realized the rabbit was there to help me, I began to research him. Learn through him. Eventually my life began to run smooth again, and I can honestly say that I have the wisdom of the rabbit to thank.
The absolute best book I have found, on the topic of totem animals and learning to trust the signs in nature is:
Animal Speak, by Ted Andrews
Take time out of your day, every day, to listen to the rhythms of nature. Learn to speak to the Goddess on a very personal level, and in time, you will learn to see her responses. She is everywhere, listening to you, always.
Namaste
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